So, I logged onto my favorite picture site, (www.morguefile.com) to choose a photo for today’s post. My lil green friend up top there was the first one I saw. He sums up my attitude perfect.
He also serves up a much needed reminder to me to…but more on that later.
It’s been three weeks since my last update. THREE WEEKS! Three weeks is plenty of time to make incredible progress. Three weeks is also a perfect amount of to fall off the wagon, lay under the tires and get beat down into a self indulgent mud puddle of self pity and old habits.
Need I say which one I chose?
Our family just returned from a week long vacation on beautiful Sanibel Island. I went with the high expectations that I was going to do my morning run on the beach every day and kill it with excellence.
Day one came and went. I looked at the shell laden beach with it’s uneven terrain and freaked out. No running.
I had never really run outside before. I am more of a treadmill kind of gal, ya know.
I mean, after all I HAVE BEEN RUNNING A WHOLE 5 weeks ya know.
Okay so the second morning came. I put on my running shoes and headed to the beach to “conquer my fears.” Earphones in place. Music blarring. Running app started. I began to run. I got exactly two stanzas into the song and stopped running. I was soo mad at myself. I felt like a failure. I let my mind dictate my actions.
I seem to do that a lot lately.
The mind truly is a battlefield.
The upside was, I couldn’t let my great playlist go to waste. I kept walking at the fastest pace I could. I managed to clock in a shade over 3 miles in under an hour. It wasn’t a run, but at least it was movement.
That was the only time I attempted to run during our entire vacation. I did manage to walk one more time. (Although like a idiot- I went at high noon, high heat…) I got in 2.5 miles before I got horribly sick from heat exhaustion and dehydration. I spent the remainder of the afternoon in our air conditioned condo recovering.
I ate like I was on vacation. – that’s all I care to admit.
My clothes feel snug.
This morning, BECAUSE I AM COMPLETELY OUT OF MY MIND, I stepped on the scale.
Back to 210.
The last time I weighed in was June 26th. I was 206.3
So… I have to get back on track. I reached out to some friends who are having great success with running. One is down 99 pounds and the other is down 60. They have both been doing this a shade over a year. I am finding myself discouraged.
Will I ever see THOSE kind of results????
I feel as if I will never break this 200 mark. Yet, I know I will.
I have learned that this journey IS such a mental battle. MAJOR.
It’s also 90% what I eat and 10% exercise.
I also know that if I give up now, I will feel worse in the future… literally. IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE.
So, once again, my lil green friend at the top of this post…says it all.
F R O G
Fully Rely On God.
Without Him.. I will surely fail.
There is my confession for now.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
Until next time,
See ya on the “froggy” side.